Pancakes
by ariathal2410
Summary: Missing pancakes and a death threat! What's going on in the Dark Order BnB? AU, CRACK, oneshot


**AN:** This is another randomly generated word prompt thing. _Prompt Words:_ threat, mustard, horse, frown. I had entirely too much fun writing this…

 **WARNINGS:** Craaaaack, possible OOC, it's 3am so…

 _Disclaimer:_ Does not own D. Gray-Man or its characters

* * *

It all started with a frown. More like a pout, really, and accompanied by a wail. It had been a quiet morning for the Dark Order Bed and Breakfast, a quiet establishment nestled outside a patch of woods. That is, until a certain manager loses a dear item…

"My pancakes are gone~!" Komui wails, waterfalls streaming from his eyes. They had been a gift from his darling Lenalee and he would die without them! Said girl sighs exasperatedly at her brother's antics, but turns to the others in the room with pleading eyes anyway.

"He won't stop until we find them…" She explains woefully. Allen smiles sweetly, Lavi roguishly and Kanda just scowls.

"Of course we'll help!"

"Yup!

" _Che_."

The first place they check is the kitchen. Lenalee leads them inside and gestures to the large bench separating the room from the dining area.

"I left them there to cool. Komui prefers them room-temperature…" She explains. They look around the kitchen and the surrounding rooms, not finding a trace of the breakfast dish.

"Well… There's no sign of them, but it also doesn't look like anyone's eaten anywhere…" Allen finally surmises, Kanda and Lavi simply nodding in agreement. They search the rest of the house, just in case someone had taken them elsewhere. They look in each individual room, and ask everyone if they had seen the missing food, coming up short.

"Alright. I'll do one more sweep of the house. Can you guys check outside to see if someone's hiding out there?" Lenalee asks, taking the lead. The three teens nod in agreement and head outside. They check the front porch and both sides of the house before heading towards back. It almost looks like a fruitless search until the teen's notice something shining in the grass.

"Wait a minute…" Lavi mumbles, squinting at the area.

"Is that…?" Allen mumbles at the same time. They all rush to the shine immediately, examining the contents. It was definitely Komui's pancakes, but…

"What is that?" Lavi asked squeamishly, wrinkling his nose at the substance. There was a strange symbol written in some kind of yellow goop. Allen reaches out, hesitating briefly, before poking a finger in the substance and licking it.

"It's mustard, ick." Allen said, sticking his tongue out in disgust.

"This is the Kanji for death. It's a threat." Kanda mutters plainly.

"In mustard?" Lavi exclaims incredulously. Kanda shrugs stoically, Allen sighs.

"This is gonna be a _long_ day…"

The teens take the pancakes back inside, depositing them on the bench where they were originally. They end up going around the BnB and questioning each individual about their whereabouts at the time of the pancake-disappearance, yielding no results. Again. By the time they finish, they stumble across a new development.

"Where's Lenalee?" Allen asks abruptly. They hadn't seen her since they split up, and they'd gone through the entire establishment to ask questions.

"What if she found the person who made the threat and they kidnapped her!" Allen panicked.

"Calm down, Al! Maybe she just went outside to look for us?" Lavi suggests nervously, biting his lower lip in worry. They rush back outside, desperately looking around for their female companion. Their search is fruitless however, and they end up back at the "crime scene" at the back.

"What the?!" Allen squeaks suddenly, stumbling back a bit in surprise. Both older teens swivel their heads to look at what shocked the younger and blanch. A dark shadow looms in the trees, slowly coming into the light. It was a horse! Pitch black in colour, with eyes as red as blood and glowing to boot.

"Look at its eyes!" Lavi practically shrieks. The horse rears in protest of the noise, whinnying loudly and galloping off into the trees.

"What in the hell is going on?!" Allen exclaims, panic seeping into his voice. Even Kanda looked unsettled.

"Bad omen…" He mutters under his breath.

"Demon horse! Demon horse!" Lavi screech's in horror, attaching himself to Allen like a koala. Allen grit his teeth. _Fantastic!_ They quickly head back inside ("The pancakes are missing again!"), and summon all of the current residents except for Komui (because god knows what that maniac would do if he found out his baby sister was missing with a potential killer on the loose). They head down to the basement (why they even _had_ a basement was beyond them) and begin to explain the situation in its entirety.

"It all started with Komui's pancakes going missing… Now that would be innocent enough on its own, but when we found the pancakes there was a _death threat_ written in mustard."

"Why mustard?"

"That's not the point!" Kanda snaps, glaring at the one who interrupted. They quiet down and Lavi moves on with his explanation.

"Not only that, but there was an incredibly ominous looking horse outside. And, most importantly, Lenalee's missing as well." He continues solemnly.

"No I'm not…" The girl in question says from the door.

"Lena?! When'd you get here?" Lavi exclaims in shock.

"Just now… I found Komui's pancakes on the bench again and came to thank you. This was the only place I hadn't looked." She says plainly, entering the room further to stand with the others.

"Oh, well, anyway… The culprit must have come into contact with mustard, and there's only one person in this room with mustard on their arm. Which means the culprit is… Jerry!" He exclaims, dramatically pointing at the man in question. The room gasps as one, Jerry jumping in surprise. The man pales abruptly as he looks at his arms, then bursts into tears.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hurt anyone! I just couldn't stand the sight of mustard on pancakes… but I didn't want to waste food so I thought I'd leave it for the animals!" He wails hysterically. The room collectively sighed.

"Wait… If you didn't write the death Kanji in mustard, then who did?" Allen piped up, confused. Lenalee squeaked in surprise.

"Eh? It said death in Kanji? Aw, it must have gotten smooshed… It was supposed to say "eat" in Chinese, since Komui's been skipping meals…" She murmured disheartenedly.

"Eh…?" The others muttered in disbelief.

"I'm sorry, that was probably my fault… I must have messed it up when I hid them…" Jerry said gloomily. There's a small ruckus in the doorway and a second later a curious head pokes through the door.

"What's everybody doing down here…? My pancakes!" Komui exclaims in delight, shovelling them in his mouth immediately and squirming in delight.

"You eat pancakes with mustard…?" Lavi whispers in horror, Komui merely blinks innocently.

"Ew…"

* * *

 **AN:** The Kanji for death and the Chinese symbol for eat aren't _really_ all that similar, but if enough was messed up they could be mistaken. Anyway~ hope you enjoyed!

 **Omake:** _Please Explain? AND It's Been a While!_

"Ok… To sum it all up: Lenalee made Komui weird pancakes with mustard because _he_ _likes_ _it_ , Jerry couldn't stomach it so he hid them, hoping she would make something else, accidentally messing up the writing while he was at it, making us think it was a _threat_ , and we had to run around looking for a _murderer_ because of it?!" Lavi concluded, voice rising with every sentence.

"Wait… That doesn't explain the horse." Allen points out.

"What horse?" Everyone says at the same time.

"Argh!" Lavi screams, pulling his hair in frustration.

 _Later~_

"Kanda! That doesn't even really look like the symbol for death!" Allen exclaimed in annoyance, having looked them up in curiosity.

"It's been a while!" Kanda snapped back, scowling heavily.

"Kanji was never his strong point anyway…" Lenalee explained unhelpfully.

"You're telling me this _whole thing_ could've been avoided if Yuu had've brushed up on his Kanji?!" Lavi growled menacingly, for once looking genuinely mad.


End file.
